As I’ve spoken of in recent posts, stillness has become my thing. I heavily practice taking my hands off and just allowing life to take its course. I’m no expert at it, and I don’t want to even imply that it is simple, but I have been practicing and I’m getting better. That is for sure.
At the start of the year, in hopes to further challenge myself in this area, I chose not to make a list of resolutions. I promised myself instead to just see SOMEthing to completion. Anything. But just focus on one thing at a time until it is DONE.
Because as a dreamer and creative I can rapidly fire off ten amazing ideas (at least) that are floating around my head at any. given. moment. They’re always there. Always.
And up until this point in my life I’ve tried very unsuccessfully to manage them all at once.
Maybe I can do it all. I’m sure I have the potential to. I’m actually certain I do, but… just not all at once.
So, for the past four months I’ve been working on completing my one thing/project, which is my first book. And no lie, I’ve had more progress from January to now than I have in the past several years. It’s crazy. And it’s simply because I've scaled way back and practiced stillness (or patience) where all the millions of ideas in my head are concerned.
And so, maybe five years ago I purchased a burlap canvas from Hobby Lobby, some project glue, and new scissors.
It remained in my closet until this year.
I thought about it at the start of each year that passed but would ultimately decide against creating it, because I didn’t feel quite ready to decide on which dreams I really wanted to write out, or speak into existence.
Here’s the thing: I strongly believed that once I glued those cut-outs onto that board, and once I professed in writing what I desired for my future… that those things would indeed manifest. And so I needed to be ready mentally and spiritually for where the journey would take me.
Moreover, I needed to know myself well enough to know exactly what I wanted those things to be. What do I want for myself? Who do I want to be? What do I want to do? I haven’t always been so sure.
At the end of last year and after living as a single woman and mom for quite some time, I finally had enough clarity to create my board. It took some time, but I finally was able to call out my dreams specifically.
It took some time and self exploration to become more clear about who I’m becoming, what I want to do, and how I visualize my future. You know?
Anyway, I created my board in faith. And I prayed over those desires. And I am keeping my delight in The Lord all while practicing stillness. Trusting the process. And surrendering perpetually to His will.
And listen. I kid you not. Every time I turn around there is a new opportunity, a new blessing, a new desire fulfilled. I can’t even tell it all. Literally, because some of it is legally confidential (but in a really great way).
I added traveling the world to my vision board. Right next to it, I cut out an image of Matthew McConaughey and his wife (chopped their heads off), but the point was: they were uber fashionable in the shot, and it’s what I visualized for myself. A gentleman who is just put TOgether in EVERY single way. I think it was within that same week that I booked a trip to the other side of the world with Mi Guapo (my long time crush and love interest). I also added being a published author to my board. That is set to manifest within a matter of weeks. And I added performing to my board. –Been a regular at this dope little live music café called Cafeza for the past few months.
All of this has happened essentially since deciding to just let go.
And let God.
I’m convinced that all the years I spent trying to control the outcome of my life, I only delayed my own progress. It’s okay, though. You live and you learn. I’d say I’m better for all of it.
This week, Solona and I were published on our first magazine cover! What?! It’s absolutely crazy! I think of it as God winking at me and saying, “#keepgoing I’ve got this.” It’s like he’s daring me to trust Him and see…
I’m so encouraged, you know? To continue waiting on God. On timing. On purpose. To keep taking things slowly. One thing at a time. To relinquish control over and over again. To complete things. To think through and balance my dreams.
But overall, to be still.
Because it has taken me so much farther than I ever knew possible.
This is a good chapter.
Xx,
B