For the past several months, I've been creating more content for others than I have for myself. It's cool, because I'm getting paid to do it, but if I'm honest I (sometimes) miss the days of having a steady 9-5 where I could (low-key) get by on auto-pilot and then come home and create for the fun of it, for myself, with no pressure.
Creating is my job now, which was my dream. And it's still my dream, which is why I haven't returned to the classroom. And I'm grinding it out daily. Am I perfect at this new self-lead position? No. But I haven't given up. It is a slow climb. Understand that.
All that to say, I miss writing. I miss blogging. I miss creating for me. And so I'm working my way back. I think about it often. Think about how I can fit it into my regular schedule between client work, being a mom, being a wife and trying to keep up with what's new, relevant and necessary in the business of running your own business.
If you're wondering if I think it's worth it. I do. I'm still dream seeking. I still have a lot inside of me that I want to see actualized. It's happening. Slowly but surely.
You may have seen that I recently hosted my first intimate women's retreat in Joshua Tree, California (the dessert). It was amazing to be in that moment, living that dream, fulfilling that purpose. It definitely reignited a flame in me. The one that burns with hope and belief that anything is possible. There's a little fire burning in me, and I'm gonna add a little fuel to it by making time to create for myself. This blog entry will be the first step. It feels amazing to be writing even this, and to be honest, I don't even know what the heck I'm talking about.
I think it's just practice. Like, okay. Let me get this quick refresher course in sharing. It feels more like I'm writing a journal entry.
Either way, it's an amazing start, and it feels great to be writing something that has no real purpose other than to make me feel good. And if someone resonates, great. If not, cool. It was really for me. You know?
This feels nice.